proud

I took this picture with my phone in my backyard.  I played around with it on picnik.com and thought it came out kind of cool.  I was able to focus on the middle round part (I'm sure there's a technical name for it) and soften the rest of the picture...

a place of mess

Well, here goes...

I've never consider myself the type of person to create a blog...whatever that "type" of person may be.  I am not creative (or, at least I don't think I am...who knows, maybe I will find out differently).  I don't have time to make cute craft projects to share with the world.  I don't have time to cook wonderful and beautiful dishes to share with the "foodies" out there.  Quite honestly...I'm lucky to have time to blow dry my hair in the morning before I throw some food (hopefully somewhat nutritional) into my daughter's lunchbag, feed the dog, give my fiance a kiss, drop my daughter off at school, and hustle into work before my supervisor sees that I'm 5 minutes late.

Now, I know I am no different than any other working mom out there and I don't think that my family is any different than any other working-class family in America (except for the fact that I share custody of my daughter with her dad, who is newly married and having another child of his own...while I plan my 200-guest wedding for November, bursting with excitement to have another as well).  However, my latest endeavor with a book written by my new girl-crush Bethenny Frankel, has left me feeling like I can have it all.  The book, titled "A Place of Yes", encourages women to go after what they want.  To stop listening to the "noise" in their head that is holding them back.  She has nearly convinced me that I should get off my backside and take the real estate class I have been wanting to take, get my license, and begin my dream of having a successful real estate career. 

This dream is partly the reason why I started this blog.  I have recently slumped into a bit of a rut in my life.  I used to be very active...exercising and eating right...full of energy and spunk.  During one of my workouts, I stepped wrong and tore my meniscus (in my knee).  I haven't been able to do much more than walk since that day.  I have been to the doctor and will be seeing the orthopaedic surgeon in two weeks.  I'm not exactly sure what caused me to slip into this mini depression, but it has really forced me to wake up and realize that I'm just not quite as happy as I could be.  I love my fiance and my home life, but I need more.  I need to find what makes me happy...I need to find something that I'm good at. 

So, I've decided to document this journey (because I've decided that it will happen), not only so I can go back and laugh at myself and all of the crazy thoughts and fears I encountered along the way...but, also so I can share those crazy thoughts and fears with others.  Then, maybe all of you other crazy women out there won't feel so alone. 

I won't promise correct grammar or punctuation.  I can't promise creative writing.  I can't promise that I will communicate my thoughts with class or sophistication.  However, I can promise honesty, reality, and that I will tell it like I see it.

...I'm just getting started...